🔑 Free AI Setup — Takes About 2 Minutes

The AI sidekick needs a free Groq key. No credit card. No fuss.

  1. Go to console.groq.com/keys and sign up (free)
  2. Click Create API Key and copy it
  3. Paste it in the box to the right and hit Save Key

Your key is stored in this browser only. It never leaves your device.  

EST. WHENEVER THINGS STARTED GOING DOWNHILL  ·  VOL. XLVII  ·  PRICE: TOO MUCH

The Grumpy Old Man Course

Australia's Premier Educational Institution for Advanced Whinging & Certified Curmudgeonry

Become a Certified Grumpy Old Man
Without Alienating Everyone You Know.

Ten modules of time-honoured Australian whinging — from the sacred art of the wheelie-bin side-eye to the dark craft of turning a weather forecast into a comprehensive economic critique. Tick off modules as you go. There will be no exam, only a certificate you can wave at people who don't ask for it.

⚠️ Warning: Side effects include saying "back in my day" more than is socially acceptable.

Curriculum Core Modules

Interactive Grump Tools

📊 The Grump-O-Meter™
Paste your rant in, press the button, receive an honest professional assessment.
MILD FERAL
MilquetoastDisgruntledProperly Filthy
–
Submit a rant to find out
🎡 Spin the Complaint Wheel
Can't decide what to be unhappy about today? Leave it to fate.
👆
Press spin to begin your suffering.
🎙️ Rant Starter Generator
Pick your battle, get your opening line, then take it from there.
Pick a topic and I'll tee you up.
✉️ Polite → Grumpy Converter
Paste something far too reasonable. We'll rough it up a bit — still sendable, just with more spine.

Game Grumpy Old Man Bingo

Listen to any conversation with a real grumpy old man and tick off the squares as they happen. Five in a row wins. You already know who wins every time.

AI Powered Old Mate Grump — AI Sidekick

Chat with Old Mate Grump. He'll rate your rants, draft complaint letters, and give his unsolicited opinion on everything. Demo Mode

OLD MATE GRUMP  ·  AI SIDEKICK  ·  ONLINE
Old Mate Grump
Right, let's get this over with. Ask me something, paste a rant, or tell me what's annoying you today. I haven't got all day — well, I have, but still.
Quick Prompts
AI Settings Demo

No key — using demo replies. Add a free Groq key for live AI.

Free key at console.groq.com — stored in this browser only.

Reward Your Grumpy Certificate

Tick off modules, enter your name, and download official proof that your grumpiness is nationally recognised.

Certificate of Advanced Grumpiness
The Grumpy Old Man Project
This certifies that
Your Name Here
Grump Level: Apprentice

Info About This Nonsense

A tongue-in-cheek celebration of the Aussie grumpy old man tradition. Harmless whinging only. No actual misery allowed.

Hosting: Pure HTML/CSS/JS — works perfectly on GitHub Pages or any static host. No server needed.

AI: Uses the Groq API (free tier, fast). Your key is stored in this browser only and sent directly to Groq — it never touches any other server.

Disclaimer: Satire and humour, not life advice. Any resemblance to real grumpy old men is entirely deliberate and deeply affectionate.